Tuesday, November 22, 2011

date: 12.08.2005 , an essay I wrote when I was 16. A missed opportunity.

As a promise to my former English teacher back in high school, I kept my essay book and read it again after several years have passed...and there is an essay where I got 50 out of 50...

Here it goes..

Claudia and I stood beside our coffins, waiting for the sun. Waiting for it to burn us to ashes. We were motionless and so still that we could have been made of stone. Death was nothing to us but only death could bring us out from our miserable life. Life in death and life that required us to feed on warm fresh blood almost every night.
We were not born to be vampires. We were mortals and human beings until we met him, Jack. He was the one who gave us the two immortal holes on our throat. We were his victims.
I owned a big plantation in ancient Rome. I had a happy family and we often spent our time together. However, our happiness had come to an end when a plague occurred in the town and I was the only one survived from it. Nobody could understand my feelings. I was surrounded by the rotting bodies, everywhere in my hometown. The foul smell made me sick. The stench drove me mad.

Then, Jack came to me and told me that I would never face death if I obeyed him. And so I did because I did not want to die like the others. I remembered he sank his fangs into my throat slowly and sucked most of my blood. Then, he slitted his wrist and asked me to drink from the flowing blood. This was how he turned me into a vampire. Well, he did the same thing to Claudia too after he did that to me. Both Claudia and I were his slaves. Every night, Jack taught Claudia and I how to hunt and kill. To him, hunting, killing and finally drinking the victims' blood was a game. Sometimes, he would even kill two or three women even though one woman was enough to make him full. After seventy years living together with him, watched him kill every night just for fun, Claudia and I could not bear him anymore. But, we still clung to him because we wanted to know about other vampires that might exist in this world and where vampires including us were originated from. No matter how many times we asked, Jack never ever wanted to tell us. He told us that there was no other vampire in this world except us. He lied, we knew. There must be a vampire who actually made him a vampire. We wanted to be free from him because after we were freed, then only we could go to anywhere and every part of the world to search for our own kind. Claudia and I knew that Jack would never let us leave him since he was afraid of loneliness. Claudia then told me that she got an idea to be free from him forever. I still remember that night where the shy moon hid herself behind the dark clouds. The air was so refreshing and cooling and I predicted that it might rain. Claudia came home after her hunt, brought along two young boys with her.

'Where is Jack, Louis?', she asked me as her eyes were fixed on the boys.
'He is playing the piano idly in his room. Why are you looking for him?', I asked her back. I was curious.
'Nothing big deal. I just brought back some food for him. Hope he'll like them', she said, pointing to the two innocent boys.
I knew something was wrong because she hated Jack very much and it was impossible that she would hunt for him. My judgement proved correct. She killed Jack even though Jack was a powerful vampire and an immortal. Do you know the way? She poisoned the boys before Jack fed on them.

After Jack died, Claudia and I searched everywhere in his room including his coffin, hoping that we might find some clues of where he came from. Well, we found no clue. Therefore, we decided to go to the central of Europe. Claudia told me that we might find some of our own kind there. After some hard searching, we finally found them, vampires. Just like Claudia and I, they did feed on blood every night but wait, there was something different between them and us. Their huge eyes bulged out from their naked sockets and two small, hideous holes made up their noses. My hair stood on end when I noticed that only a leathery flesh enclosed their skulls and their clothes were rotting, thick with earth and slime with blood. And then, I realized that they were nothing but mindless corpses or living dead who fed on blood. I did not know what caused the differences between them and us. Maybe Jack knew nothing about that. But everything was too late now because Jack was dead. We did not have the opportunity to ask him anything, anymore. Claudia and I were lost in minds, not knowing where should we go and where we belonged. And that was why Claudia and I were waiting for the sunrise, waiting for the death to come and waiting for the end of our life.

Friday, October 7, 2011

when you start behaving like a woman

I still remember the days back in my high school where all of us were in our school uniform,gossiping about which guy likes which girl, what to prepare for the next coming canteen days, the marching practices in the evening, and the coming SPM examination...

time passes~

little did I realised, I kissed high school goodbye...

completed my foundation/pre-university study...

enrolled into Monash University....

struggled in my first year,away from family, far from hometown, surviving in a complete different environment while facing a new challenge known as 'assignments and quizzes'

second year passed too...

now,in my third and final year....

looking back at the old times, though they seemed like it was yesterday where we sit by the benches in the school, taking pictures with our cute poses

I know I am no longer the same little naive girl I used to be...

when I grow stronger and learned independence

when I am not interested in gossiping bout others but minding my own business

when I learned how to put myself in people's shoes and learn to care and share

when I learned to 'feel' things instead of 'seeing' things

when I wear 4 inches heels instead of Adidas or Nike shoes,

when I wear dresses instead of L size T-shirt and jeans

when I received compliments such as 'sexy' instead of 'cute'

when I realized time and life experiences changed me both mentally and physically

I came to understand the differences in my mindset when I was in my teenage and now when I am in my twenties...

and I will continue to learn

and hoping I can be a better person in my thirties...

and continue to learn throughout my whole lifetime..

wishing I can whisper to myself 'I have completed my life' on my dying bed.



stay chic!

Monday, September 26, 2011

a girl's dream

to be honest, I am the typical type of girl you will see in 'the devil wears Prada'

dream of living in a big apartment in one of the most happening cities in the world (especially New York)

owning a big shoe room of mine - hopefully over 40 pairs of various kinds of heels, flats, wedges, boots

another bag room - filled with bags from Chanel, Burberry, Miu Miu, Prada, etc

LOL (I'm not greedy,yes,i know I'm greedy)

let's proceed with my not-so-greedy little dream...

how about having another personal corner filled with beautiful lacey boxes with floral prints?

box 1: filled with various perfumes~
box 2: filled with accessories
box 3: a professional make up box (having all the make up products, from A to Z)

moving further and a king size bed appears~


not enough? pulling the curtains....standing on a balcony with great sea view~

waking up each day, roll on the bed, get up and breathe in fresh air while standing on the beautiful balcony

deciding which style of outfit I want for the day,

looking at the heels and pick one matches my "today's feeling"

putting on accessories and wear the selected perfume

put on make up too, of course,

and then sit on the bed,

ice-blended orange juice with chocolate banana cake for breakfast,

then head out for work.

life like this~

*smack on the forehead*

okay....come back to reality...

cheers! ^^

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

talking to the moon

everyone was wrong.i was wrong.he is still in love with me.

no.he wants to stop it.because we are too far apart.

yes,i am still in love with him too.

we promised not to talk to each other.promised to move on without each other in our life.

all i can do now is listening to Bruno Mars's talking to the moon and trying to sing along the chorus

Talking to the Moon
Trying to get to You
In hopes you're on
the other side
Talking to me too
Or am I a fool
who sits alone
Talking to the moon

my heart feels kind of sour.

and i posted on my Facebook wall:


he posted on his Facebook wall:


bitter smile.right person.wrong timing.i miss you.


Wednesday, July 27, 2011

mirror reflection

have you ever noticed that certain couples are actually quite alike in their looks and behaviour?

this is often what people call 'husband and wife look', direct translation from chinese words '夫妻相'.

after talking to my another friend who is also study psychology or maybe I think too much,I came to realize that there are two reasons behind it...

first possible reason is that people tends to find their partner who is resembling themselves in some kind of ways.
what do I meant by that? okay,let's assume that most of us grow up seeing ourselves quite often in the mirror
and thus,we are sort of fond of our own look subconsciously without us even knowing it.
so,when we meet someone who kinda looks or behaves like us or likes the things we like, we feel the sense of belongingness (it is good to have companionship) and we tend to fall for him/her.
all I shall say,the similiarity draws us together.

However,in some cases which holds the second possible reason, some couples who look or talk alike, were not quite identical in the beginning but they grow together in the relationship and as time passes, they become quite alike?

hmph, confused?

okay, see it this way, we humans grow up by observing and learning from others.
it is as simple as how we learn to walk or talk.
We listen, observe, pick up the ideas and we practice that behaviour repeatedly until we can do it properly.
So, what is has to do with couple looking alike??
Couple tends to pick up each other little habits bit by bit over the time (if you ever noticed), suggesting the 'mirror reflection' theory. Not limiting to just habits, sometimes it could even be their look! For example, the way they smile? or that way their eyes look at people? their body language when they are interacting with others?

how about couples who do not seem similar at all? well, maybe their relationship is not long enough to see the changes in them? or maybe they are the exception, theories may not hold true for all situations... nyah nyah~

till then,take care to those who read my blog

specially thanks to bean,who allowed me to use her picture here~ hahaha

Monday, June 27, 2011

five stages of grievance

this is one of my friend's favourite psychology theory to date and he shared it with me months ago, I feel it is indeed very true.

my friend who as a psychology minor told me that this theory was proposed for death related issue which means someone dear to you has passed away recently. However, later it was found to be pretty much applicable to situations where you part from someone or something that you have attachment to,usually something that means a lot to you and often associated with any kind of loses that is dear to you.

five stages of grievance- denial,anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance.

Denial is the first stage. In this stage,you will get a huge shock as if being struck by lighting and will not believe what has just happened or had happened. Subconsciously, your mind will work to undo what has been the reality presented in front of your eyes. For example, you might keep persuading yourself that it is not true, there is no way it gonna be the truth,etc. It must be a dream, or a nightmare most likely.

When you enter the second stage, Anger is what you will feel. You are just mad. You are angry that God took something deary to you away, angry at yourself for letting it happened this way, angry at anything and anyone that reminds you of that incident.

Third stage, bargaining. Start to get desperate,desperately trying all kinds of ways to fix it, making promises about what you will do to get it fixed. You gonna feel like if everything will go back to how it used to be, you will not ask for anything anymore. You may try very hard, and as you keep trying, the only thing you realized is that, the more you do, the worse it becomes. Final realization, nothing could be fixed. It's the end.

Depression. You are beginning to see it as a reality that could not be changed. Starting to feel that this life has no meaning, the world means nothing to you anymore. You may have insomnia or lose your appetite. The world looks so grey.

As time passes, you came to realize, everything that has happened is not your fault and there is nothing you can do about it now, no matter how hard you tried or how sad you might be. However, you also may start to feel that you life does not end here and you can still go chasing after other things that you dream of in life. One day you woke up finding that, hey, I am feeling slightly happy today. This signifies that you have entered the final stage, Acceptance. Slowly, you will be back like how you used to be, without being bothered much by that past incident, slowly finds that life has becomes meaningful once again, found a new path and a new direction to continue the journey of your life.

credits to A, my friend.

anyway, cheers! and it is known as 'prost' in German ^^

Sunday, May 22, 2011

something to laugh about.... ^^

1) So many people die, never see you die.
2) You teach me how to come out and walk in the future?
3) If you have enough ginger, put your horse to me.
4) "I saw a pork chop"
5) Are you road?
6) What the water are you?
7) Do you big me?
8) Zebra chops people.
9) The king of the cutting girl.
10) Cut my head and let you sit on it as a chair.
11) Do you think me didn't arrive?
12) You have seed, I will give you some colour to see, brothers, together up.
13) Today I was very black son.
14) I am wearing grass.
15) You have not enough class to talk mathematics with me!
16) Two beat six.
17) Two five son.
18) Piano piano green.
19) I give you some colour to see see.
20) Stupid stupid want to move .
21) People mountain people sea .
22) How senior are you?
23) What the ghost are you talk?
24) I fear that you have teeth.
25) Heart flower angry open.
26) Fish skin
27) Monster of blowing water.
18) Face green green
29) You see road carefully
30) You go to street carefully
31) Do the world
32) Big tea rice
33) American chinese not enough.
34) King eight egg.
35) High hand.
36) Old dot.
37) One old water
38) I know your mouse.
39) Measure water/Pound water.
40) A dragon service.
41) Pump water.
42) I blow chicken to beat your group of the guys.
43) You jump building.
44) You come back home and eat banana
45) I give you a hair.
46) Collect skin
47) Collect father
48) You give me collect father.
49) Laugh die me.
50) You give me stop.
51) Eight woman
52) Eight woman,you are good!
53) What the spring do you do?
54) A dog of eating dung

Sunday, April 24, 2011



(1) 原来美国的厕所都有一个1cm 到 2cm 门缝,外面的人要看里面的你,真的看得到
(2) 原来美国人不用洗碗,他们有机器帮忙
(3) 原来在美国不会煮饭不用紧,会用微波炉就好了
(4) 原来美国人真的太友善了,但要记得,这并不是真正的友谊
(5) 原来在美国最辛苦的,是你生病了,医生不会医~
(6) 原来在美国读大学,好像在读小学,老师们都会写在黑板上,还要你用小簿子写功课
(7) 原来在美国红灯时可以转右,青灯时不一定可以转左。
(11)原来我们的study week,在美国是个death week
(12) 原来我们在final exam 前是拼命的读书,美国人在final exam前是拼命的party
(13) 原来在美国5cents 比10cents还要大
(14) 原来在美国买名牌是挺便宜的
(15) 原来美国人在每个周末都会party
(16) 原来在美国,过马路不可以看右,因为车从左边来


笑一笑吧~ ^-^ 

Wednesday, March 9, 2011

the earthquake theory

i wrote a theory for being in love,
another theory of breaking up
and now what?
final theory of post-break up life

and this time...it feels like the post-earthquake life
it feels like you are being stuck in between two huge rocks right after the happening of earthquake
half of your body and limbs are under these rocks
extreme pain
but you simply stuck there,not being able to move
some people will ask you to let go and move on,
but you can't,
there is no way you are willing to take a knife or a sharp-edged rock to cut your own bones and flesh that are stuck under the rocks,
some people tell you that you will have a better life after you let go,
yeah,how will you know if i still survive after cutting half of my body and limbs apart?
even if i survived, things and life will not be the same again,
i will lost parts of me, handicapped.
it requires tremendous bravery to do so,by the way
and most importantly,the love for the limbs.

however, you can still choose to continue to be under the rocks.
extreme pain,
you are unwilling to detach from the other half of yours
what to do?
although these parts of you might be dead already by now
(due to the long-term lack of blood circulation and terrible injuries)
extreme pain, and fortunately, you are tough enough to take it.
at first you will scream in pain and asking for help,
no one can help you,
you are the only one who is stuck
and the people around you could not help to remove the rocks away,
even if they wanted to
all they can do is to just watch you in pain,
some couldn't watch it anymore and choose to turn away
some are still watching, but no one can completely understand the bearer's pain
even the bearer himself/herself

time flies,
you stop screaming because people starts to find it annoying and depressing
and you are getting so numb and tired.
sometimes, you will feel alright as you starting to get used to it
sometimes,you even forgotten the rocks are still there
sometimes,you remember that you are still retaining the paralyzed limps
sometimes, you learn to enjoy the pain
and lastly,all the time,you wish that all has happened is just another nightmare.

disappointment equals to expectation divided by reality


Saturday, February 26, 2011

♥ DIY homemake green tea mask, toner and facial scrub ♥

yes, they are easy to make, sharing most of the ingredients.safe to try and nice to use and mainly for acne/blemish skin.

ingredients that are needed: apple cider vinegar, green tea (can be obtained from real green tea leaves or green tea packet but not the ready-to-drink canned green tea), white sugar/salt, honey, olive oil, two empty glass bottles

making the green tea mask

1. add 1 teaspoon of apple cider vinegar into the bowl
2. add 2 teaspoons of green tea
(you can use the green tea packet to prepare the green tea, must sure it is lukewarm)
3. add 3 teaspoons of white sugar
4. stir the mixture to blend it completely
5. add 1 teaspoon of honey
6. add 2 more teaspoons of white sugar.
7. stir the mixture carefully again and it is ready to be use (leave it for about 10 minutes on the face and wash it off with cold water)

-you can keep up to 2 weeks within the glass bottle in the fridge
(use sugar if you have a dry skin, but replace it with salt if you have oily skin)

making the green tea toner

1. prepare an empty glass bottle
2. add in apple cider vinegar of about 1/3 of the bottle
(use lesser portion if you have sensitive skin)
3. add in green tea (prepared earlier for the mask) into the bottle for the remaining 2/3
4. add in 1 teaspoon of olive oil (you can substitute it with tea tree oil)
5. shake the mixture and it is ready to be use

-you can keep up to 2 weeks in the fridge
-use it at night as it smells bad, however I find it smells like SK-II (I used to call that smell as horse urine)

making the green tea facial scrub

1. add in 3 teaspoons of white sugar
2. add in 1 teaspoon of green tea
3. add in another ingredient of your choice (could be honey, Johnson's baby oil, olive oil,etc)
4. stir the mixture and leave it for about 2 minutes and it is ready to be use

- it has about 1 week of shelf life but personally, I would recommend use it once.

tried it,like it and love it ♥


Thursday, February 24, 2011

when you are single for too long....


when you are single for too long


you will feel 'lazy' to be in a relationship again


when you are single for too long


friends are becoming more and more important


when you are single for too long


listening to songs will become a major hobby to you


when you are single for too long


you will often forget to bring your cellphone along with you


when you are single for too long


it will develop into a weird habit


when you are single for too long


you will become more picky/choosy when it comes to love


when you are single for too long


besides feeling lonely sometimes


actually,it is kinda happy too


when you are single for too long


you will slowly start to get mature


when you are single for too long


you will love your parents even more that last time


and cherish your relationship with your family members


when you are single for too long


you don't really bother much about those special days of the year


when you are single for too long


seeing others who are in a sweet relationship with their lover


somehow,your heart feels disturbed


when you are single for too long


you will start to loving buying more shoes


so that they can bring you to faraway places


when you are single for too long


you will have so much freedom


when you are single for too long


love is becoming less important


and being replaced by money and career


when you are single for too long


you will become more rational


and down-to-earth


when you are single for too long


it is actually a blissful moment


although you will face some emptiness and loneliness


but walking on your own street


everything is no longer a matter to you


and there is nothing to control you


often many people will question


'why don't you kiss the single life goodbye?'




when you are single for too long


you will get addicted

*chinese version is not written by me*

cheers to those who are still single!