Wednesday, March 9, 2011

the earthquake theory

i wrote a theory for being in love,
another theory of breaking up
and now what?
final theory of post-break up life

and this feels like the post-earthquake life
it feels like you are being stuck in between two huge rocks right after the happening of earthquake
half of your body and limbs are under these rocks
extreme pain
but you simply stuck there,not being able to move
some people will ask you to let go and move on,
but you can't,
there is no way you are willing to take a knife or a sharp-edged rock to cut your own bones and flesh that are stuck under the rocks,
some people tell you that you will have a better life after you let go,
yeah,how will you know if i still survive after cutting half of my body and limbs apart?
even if i survived, things and life will not be the same again,
i will lost parts of me, handicapped.
it requires tremendous bravery to do so,by the way
and most importantly,the love for the limbs.

however, you can still choose to continue to be under the rocks.
extreme pain,
you are unwilling to detach from the other half of yours
what to do?
although these parts of you might be dead already by now
(due to the long-term lack of blood circulation and terrible injuries)
extreme pain, and fortunately, you are tough enough to take it.
at first you will scream in pain and asking for help,
no one can help you,
you are the only one who is stuck
and the people around you could not help to remove the rocks away,
even if they wanted to
all they can do is to just watch you in pain,
some couldn't watch it anymore and choose to turn away
some are still watching, but no one can completely understand the bearer's pain
even the bearer himself/herself

time flies,
you stop screaming because people starts to find it annoying and depressing
and you are getting so numb and tired.
sometimes, you will feel alright as you starting to get used to it
sometimes,you even forgotten the rocks are still there
sometimes,you remember that you are still retaining the paralyzed limps
sometimes, you learn to enjoy the pain
and lastly,all the time,you wish that all has happened is just another nightmare.

disappointment equals to expectation divided by reality